Thursday, September 20, 2007

White House.

Once ever four years, we as America are blessed with the duties of freedom. We get to crown our king. Usually, it results in nothing more than culling the weakest sheep. Just think about it. Remember Bush vs Dukakis ? That wasn't a presidential race; that was a contest to see who could be the night manager at Wendy's. But this year is different. There is a an incredibly diverse group of well qualified candidates. With the inclusion of such candidates like senators Obama and Clinton, I began to think. Is America read for a white heterosexual Christian man president?

This would truly be a first. America has never had a white heterosexual christian president. Although some of the greatest president were close. George Washington may not have been a Christian, but he was certainly a deitist. Lincoln was white and Chirstian, but have you taken a good look at Mary Todd. Lincoln wore two beards. FDR appeared as a white heterosexual Christian male, but he was crippled so he doesn't count. Don't look at me, those are God's rules.
Reagan also was white Christian heterosexual, too bad Nancy, and not Ron, was president.

Even thou history is against me on this one I do believe that America is ready for a white Christian Heterosexual male as president. Although, I don't think this will be the year. On the Democrat side, you have Obama (not white), Clinton (not male), Edwards (well, I refer you to Ann Coulter's comments) and Richards (not white). For the republicans, you have Romney (not Christian), McCain (He's not really running for president. He's just old and delusional, and no one around him has the heart to tell him otherwise.), Giuliani (well,...). We are left with Brownback and Huckabee. Well, if Obama is too Osama, then Brownback is to close to Wetback, and well that isn't white. Leaving us with only Huckabee. Which is good, because who does want a leader who's not afraid to stand up and lead us back into the 18th century. (Damn it, America was really good back then.)

With any luck, enough voters will be wasted on Nov 1, and go to the pulls smashed. With any luck they will pull the Huckabee lever, mistaking thinking they are voting for that lovable dog, Huckleberry Hound. And what a miracle it would be.

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