Monday, October 29, 2007

The sure fire way to get rid of ghosts.

It’s Halloween again; time to dope up little kids on sugar. Why not start the diabetes young? Has eating a few pounds of candy corn ever hurt anyone? (The answer is yes)

It’s also time for ghost stories and for haunted houses. Personally, I am a big fan of haunted houses and ghost stories. Give me a story about a legless axe murder around a camp fire any night. But that is all they are amusement and stories, and nothing more.

However, some people believe in real haunted houses. On CNN’s website, it gives helpful hints on what to do if you house is haunted. The first and most important, is that if you hear weird sounds, look for natural causes first. Then the advice goes down hill from there. "Get ghost hunter to investigate," but " Avoid those who dabble in magic or offer 'magical cleansing'" Also get a reliable "either a professional medium, psychic, or someone who is sensitive to spirits." The word oxymoron pops into mind. Although, it could be ghosts putting those thoughts into my mind.

But CNN does not go far enough with the advise. What can you do for those really tricky ghosts . Since physics are phony, mediums are mediocre and ghost hunters are delusional, there is only one time tested method of getting rid of unwanted ghosts. You simply need to burn the house down. The house can not be haunted if it isn’t a house anymore. Has anyone heard of a haunted pile of ash? No more unexplained creaking sounds. No more cold drafts. Can a physic enter the basement and tell you that a horrible murder has taken place, if there is no basement? Of course not.

Yes, while the Ghost busters could bust a ghost even if they tired, a little be of gasoline and a match while cure any house of its hauntings.

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